Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

[livingwith]

Greetings,
My name is Jeff and I’m 29 years old. I suppose I am what you call a “productive” member of society, I work 8am to 5pm, I pay my taxes, I survive on my own. However, it has always been a struggle at best, a major strife at the worst. I’ve worked night shift jobs before, but have always been dissatisfied and/or wasn’t able to survive off of the salary. Please lend me a few moments of your time to let me express my thoughts and feelings about the so-called night owl “syn...Read the full article

[like2opr8]

My name is Cathey and I am a night owl. I am 40 yrs old. Yes, it irks me as well that we have a "disorder". We are simply night owls. There is nothing wrong with it. Thank God there are people like us to work in hospitals (like me) to take care of our loved ones and to work at the fire and police department etc... We do not have a disorder. We are here to keep the world functioning while the day people get their rest.

I also like your comments about how the world is quiet at night. It's nice. I love it.

I do wish this "disorder" or whatever would get more attention because I get tired of being called abnormal or feeling like I am viewed as lazy or non productive. I clean my house, work, do a lot of baking etc.. at night.

My 14 yr old son also is a night owl. Big problem with getting up for school so I homeschool him. Society does not make it easy for us in a lot of ways. We are freaks I guess. We are the minority. I work nights but am tired of it. I would like a mid shift sometimes. Days are out of the question unless it is only 3 days. I could do that I think. Nice to know I am not alone!

[melamein]

jeff, i just found this site tonight and i'm almost in tears after reading your post. i've been the same way all my life. i'm lucky in that i am an RN and i've had the choice many times to work night shifts, which is right up my alley. i feel so normal at night. i've slept through more things than i could even name. i was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a few years ago and started taking ambien for sleep and xanax because i just cannot relax enough to go to sleep - ever. well, these meds just made getting up even harder. i've slept through work, i mean an entire day of work a couple of times and was honest with my boss, they do not understand. i've stayed in trouble a great deal trying to work day shifts because it is so hard to get up early. but from reading your post, you are right about the beauty of night and darkness. i guess people like us feel that way like day people feel about watching a sunrise. i drive my family crazy when we go on a trip and stay in hotels. i stay up watching tv or reading until 3-4am and they are up by 8am wanting to ''go". of course, i'm completely unable to get up and go, so they leave me in the hotal room sleeping and i miss out on going to see things and getting to do things with them. they think it's just my hard-headedness, that i an unwilling to change my way of life. they think it's just as easy as making myself go to bed at 10 or 11pm and getting up at 7am easily. i've tried many times and i just lay there for hours with my head spinning, worrying, thinking and feeling guilty about how many things i could have gotten done in the time i'd been laying there, like laundry!! well, over all, i wish you the best and maybe you need to think about going to nursing school. good money for night shift workers, especially on the weekends!! just a thought. glad i ran across your post. Good luck to you, melanie

[Alpha/Omega]

Cathey and Melanie,

Thank you both for your responses and for sharing your stories with me. Oddly enough, like the both of you I too work at a hospital, as a computer tech. Unfortunately my department only works day shifts, unlike some hospitals (I think). I do get to be on call once a month which lets me come in a little later in the day if I have too many phone calls at night (nurses frustrated with their computers or printers!), but all that usually does is interfere with my sleeping pattern even more.

Melanie, regarding your family not fully understanding, I'm lucky enough to have been nocturnal for so long that everyone in my immediate family understands that this is how I've always been. My parents said that when I was a kid it would be 10:30 or 11:00 at night and I would still be wide awake while they had gone to bed hours earlier. Up until the time I moved away from home everyone would wake up early in the morning all cheery and refreshed, singing in the shower, etc., and it would always annoy the hell out of me!

Cathey you are right, the world could not function without people like us. It's too bad that a lot of folks don't realize this!

Thanks again for your feedback, and best of luck to you both!

[hope512]

Hi. I would just like to say how I sympathise and understand.

I resent greatly that the way my body clock is organised is called 'a disorder'. Society wouldn't function without people who are awake a lot later or a lot earlier than most. But of course we are expected to fit in. I was thinking, you are not allowed to comment on other aspects of people's lives, sexuality, lifestyle choices, you can't call people names (which is a good thing) etc.. it's all okay.. whatever... But, if someone can't wake up when society says they should they're 'lazy', 'difficult', people say or think 'they could if they wanted to', like it's a choice we make. My parents are cool with it, I've had it since I was a baby, but certainly one of my half brothers just thinks it's laziness. It wouldn't matter if I put a paper from some scientific study in front of him, he'd still just think I was making a fuss over nothing and being lazy.

I have health problems (I first wrote that I had *other* health problems, see how we are conditioned to think?), and need to go to hospital appointments, I always have to make them in the afternoon, and I dread having to go to a clinic that's in the morning... I was referred for therapy because of various things, and the therapist recommended going to a group. I was really worried the group would be in the morning. Was it? 8.45 AM!!! A much sort after slot apparently. Well, not by me. It was really difficult to get across to the therapist about my sleep problems and that I wasn't just being difficult. Finally I chose to go to a shorter course of sessions which I could get in the afternoon.

It's not easy being an owl in a lark society. But that's who we are. I'm beginning to get more confidence about being who I am, partly because of this forum and reading about other people's experiences. I'm beginning to feel that people just have to accept that aspect about me. My therapist would probably say I was being willful and manipulative.... but at the same time he wants me to find the 'real me'. Sorry Doc, the real me is an owl, get over it.

Hope

[Dierdra]

Hi Jeff,

I hope you are doing okay! I truly understand the point you have reached, as I have reached the same point too!

I just found out about DSPS, but absolutely hate the fact that it is called a disorder. I don't like being told there is something wrong with me. I loved your example about nature having as many nocturnal as diurnal creatures. I am exactly like you, I have been a night owl ever since infancy and can't imagine the boredom of being a day person. I have two adult sons who are night owls like me, although my oldest (27) can force himself to go to sleep by 10 pm, whereas my youngest son (20) cannot.

Both of my sons are bright, talented musicians who play together in a rock band, so I have gotten to enjoy most of their shows in a different city ( most parents cannot pull that off)! I get 3-5 hours of sleep after the 3 hour drive and ferry ride to get home, and go to work at 9:30 am. Never get a good nights sleep until my days off or a rare vacation.

Jeff, please try to change your job as soon as possible to something you will be able to live with for the long haul. The reason I'm suggesting this is from my own experience. I am 53 years old and have had it with society at large. I have run out of patience with people saying "You just need to go to bed earlier and stop being so stubborn!" I am looking into retraining for a green collar job, and definitely one that will allow me to work the hours I need to function at my best. I refuse to conform to what the rest of "society" deems " normal"!

I also do not care to explain myself anymore and feel it is no ones business how I live my life. I just tell people that I wish that society in general was accepting of different types of people.

Good luck with everything and keep up the good fight. Who knows, someday soon we may be considered the normal ones!

Dierdra

[smak451]

Sorry guys, I disagree. Yes it sucks having a genetic makeup that is labeled a disorder, but the fact is it's like telling a genetically predisposed chronically obese person that society will still consider them beautiful for who they are; it's a nice thought but all evidence suggests it just won't happen. You can fight against it, curse and rail against a tidal wave, but in the end you'll drown. I work in investment banking, and have only survived because my late night hours were considered a sign of extreme dedication (which I am), but that view may be based partially on a false premise. I, like all of you, do my best work in the middle of the night, when my mind is sharpest and clearest. I would give my left arm to change (well maybe not the whole arm, but a finger sure). Ciao.