[DayDreamer]

Hi, my name is Jordan, I'm 14 years old, and I know that I have DSPS. My only problem is that my mom will not accept it. She just tells me over and over again that I am bringing all of my sleep problems upon myself by refusing to go to bed earlier. I have tried telling her that I just can't help it, but then she pulls the doctor card saying that she has treated people who couldn't sleep. Her version of a solution is not allowing me to take naps anymore. Without them, I get only about two hours of sleep per day during the school week, if I'm lucky. On the weekends, I end up falling asleep at about 6 or 7 in the morning. Now my mom is saying that she will be forcing me to wake up by noon, so there is no way that I can make up even the littlest bit of that lost sleep. My mom can be so judgemental and critical of everything that I do and say, so much so, that I'm afraid to have her look at this site or any others that talk about DSPS. Can anyone here offer me advice or something?

Jordan

[sleepy-teen]

Dear 14 year old,
I am 16 years old and I understand what you are going through. I live i London and am currently studying 4 some of the most important exams of my life however, I can't concentrate because I have not had enough sleep.
About your momma, when she begins to read this website she will understand. My mom was the same, now she leaves me 2 my own devices. I mean as I write this now it is 1am in the morning.

[amybaby]

Honey, I'm 25 and my mom just calls me lazy. She won't come to terms with the fact that some people have different sleep rhythms. Good luck, and I really hope everything works out for you!

[Circadiabsurdium]

Hi Jordan.

I feel your pain. I have the same problem with my family but luckily I am 28 and self-supporting so I can just ignore them.

Does your mom question the existence of DSPS itself, or just the fact that you might have it? If she thinks you don't have it, ask her to prove it by sending you for a sleep study. Doctors are in love with lab tests and physical evidence - but luckily there ARE ways to measure whether or not someone has a circadian rhythm disorder (i.e., body temperature, blood tests to measure whether your body is producing melatonin at specific times, lots of stuff I don't fully understand). What is your mom so afraid of? If she can't be convinced to give you the opportunity to seek actual medical care, then she's not much of a doctor and you're in for a rough 4 years! If she has tried to send you to a psychologist, perhaps that person knows about DSPS (or you could educate them) and they can help you convince your mom.

Or maybe the school counselor or nurse can help -- there has been a lot in the news lately about the fact that most teens temporarily suffer from a sleep phase delay, and many people are pushing for schools to have later start times for high schools - your school SHOULD at least be aware of the issue; if not, they need a good scolding for not keeping up with current events. Heres a NYT article about the school start time issue, or you can just google it, but maybe you have already told your mom about these...

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D0DE7DD1531F936A25757C0A9679C8B63&scp=6&sq=Delayed+Sleep+Phase&st=nyt

If your mom thinks there's no such thing as DSPS, ask if she knows that DSPS is recognized in the DSM IV. The "code" is 307.31, "Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder, Delayed Sleep Phase Type" (you can get the code from the DSM webpage outlining the changes they made in 2005, http://www.dsmivtr.org/PageByPageChanges.pdf.) (DSM IV is the 4th edition of the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual." It's a real reference book published by the American Psychiatric Association, and your Mom, as a doctor, should have some respect for it.) See:

http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/delayed_sleep_phase_syndrome.htm
AND
http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/circadian_rhythm_sleep_disorder.htm

And here's a link to the Merck manual, another Dr. reference book that reconizes the existence of DSPS:

http://www.merck.com/mmpe/sec16/ch215/ch215b.html#sec16-ch215-ch215b-850

But I recommend asking the school librarian to help you find the actual DSM IV, and copy the relevant page; that will be more convincing than links to unofficial websites.

Here's another website that has lots of responses to common challenges to whether DSPS exists:

http://www.circadiandisorders.org/faq.html

It's a list of FAQ's about DSPS, with LOTS of attitude. On second, thought read it yourself (if you haven't already) and have a good laugh, but maybe don't show it to your mom if attitude just makes her more stubborn.

I hope at least some of this helps, and I wish you the best!