Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

[AngTheBanj]

Hey! Thank goodness I found this site. I am thirteen and believe to be suffering from DSPS. Ever since 2 1/2 years ago, I have been a night owl and done all my homework/writing at times past midnight. I would lay restlessly in bed from midnight to 5 am, till i fell asleep. The problem was school. Sometimes I had to have my dad call me in sick so that I could sleep. Over the summer it gets worse, I stay up for 24hours+ Its frustrating when I don't get to fall asleep till 5 and then have to have my grandma scream at me for over an hour to wake me at 9am for practice. I've had a friend with sleeping problems and whenever i couldn't sleep I'd call him. He was always up, because he has dsps. I searched up his syndrome and realized that that's exactly what I believe I have. Completely alert at night, more so than the day. Getting less than 3 hours of sleep on school night, coming home and taking 14+ hours naps. Unable to fall asleep till the sun starts coming up. My friends became upset with me when I didn't want to do a car wash with them at 1 pm. I couldn't, I went and took a nap. When I called them after I awoke, I told them I thought I had dsps, they said okay sure, stop your make up disease for the day and come hang with us. I disagreed. When my parents came home, I told my mom and she agreed with me. Though, when I told my dad, all hell broke loose. He said it's my fault and that i've just changed my sleeping schedule because I haven't been going to sleep early. Really dad, if I went to bed at 12, the same time as you, I couldn't fall asleep until 5 am. ugh, its frustrating. =[
The reason I don't fall asleep early is because of the dsps! He thinks he understands, but how could he if he doesn't experience it himself?!

[Norway]

Well, there are 2 good things. Neither will be of much comfort to you right now, I'm afraid.

One is, I'd give anything if I'd known what DSPS was when I was your age. Even if you can't get anyone else to believe you, you can believe you. NOT knowing that such a disorder exists can lead to one doubting oneself - for decades. "Everyone else can get up in the morning -- it must be that I *AM* lazy, uncooperative, inconsiderate and all that." Doubting oneself is not good.

The other maybe-good thing is that DSPS which starts at the beginning of puberty, sometimes quits by the age of 20 or so. Of adults there are about 3 of 2000 of us (0.15%), equally many men and women. Studies have shown that 7%, some say 10%, of teens, mostly boys, are biologically in the same boat as DSPSers, but that most of them outgrow it.

So MAYBE you ONLY have six years of this left (which I realize is about half a lifetime to you - UGH!). And if you are going to have it the rest of your life, you can try to plan your life around NOT having to get up early. Freelance work, web design, musician, truck or taxi driver. The problem with some good types of jobs is that getting educated for them requires getting up to go to school - a Catch22.

There seems to be some progress, but slow. The Americans with Disabilities Act now includes "sleep" as a "major life activity" and that's new as of 2009. There is now a one-year program in the subspecialty Sleep Medicine for doctors in the US; it includes circadian rhythms disorders, so now doctors can't call themselves Sleep Doctor without that education. Research finds out more all the time, so one can hope that it will come up with some PRACTICAL help for us.

You're not going to get parents, doctors and friends to UNDERSTAND. As you say, they can't. You do need to work on getting them to ACCEPT that there is such a thing, and that's something else altogether. You've probably read up on Wikipedia. DSPSinfo.org is pretty good. There are other sources, forums, mail-lists, even Facebook groups. When people ask and seem really interested in trying to understand, I ask them if they can imagine having to start work at 3 a.m., and everyone around them acts like that is normal and no big deal. How would they do?

[sleeplessinW]

[quote="Norway"]
One is, I'd give anything if I'd known what DSPS was when I was your age. Even if you can't get anyone else to believe you, you can believe you. NOT knowing that such a disorder exists can lead to one doubting oneself - for decades. "Everyone else can get up in the morning -- it must be that I *AM* lazy, uncooperative, inconsiderate and all that." Doubting oneself is not good.[/quote]

Great answer, but in particular the part I have quoted above. I am 39 yrs old and just today am reading for the first time that I have a real disorder. I have been called many names, "vampire" and "lazy" are the 2 most frequently given. As a child I fought with my parents, I was labeled a "defiant child" and punished when I was not asleep before midnight (which was seldom). Needless to say I was punished a lot growing up for my inability to sleep at night.

I am married to my 3rd husband, someone who is finally willing to accept that I am different and can't help it. I have raised 3 children with this disorder, which has been more than challenging, but my children grew up understanding that mommy was "different". They too often listened to the fights with family members about my lack of love and concern for my kids because I slept when they were awake. While they accept, they still can never understand, and you can still see the doubt in their faces when a conflict arises due to my sleeping habits.

Please count your blessings that you are finding out at a young age, there is a name for it, and some kinds of help... and the hope that you may outgrow it and not have to live as I have lived. Just being here today, knowing I am no longer alone, it feels almost like a cure in itself.

When you are in need of understanding seek out others like found here to sympathize with you, help you cope, and help you plan a future that may not have to be as dark as mine still looks.

Oh, and one other thing. A pat on the back to you for listening to yourself, doing the research, and not letting others convince you that you are lazy, stubborn, unmotivated, etc. That alone shows a lot of light for your future! Good luck to you!